bwg to cwg

i've just finished watching an impressive opening ceremony for the 2010 commonwealth games, and i must say, kalmadi and company have redeemed themselves. i might even consider voting the congress back in, next elections.


so here's setting the record straight.


it wasn't all that rosy, parts of the show sucked -


1. doordarshan telecasts - with 5 minute long ads that stretched the ceremony to an hour after the real thing had ended. evidently, doordarshan has made all the money it has lost since star plus came around. if it weren't for the indian railways ad, doordarshan could have transformed a good effort into the most boring spectacle of mankind.


2. doordarshan presenters - the guy should be mummified. hopelessly un-informed. and that female? with a hint of cleavage? doordarshan, get a life.


3. 'dear mr. xyz, and mr. abc, and mr. 123, and mr...' - bureaucrats will never change. the idiots. for gods sake, leave the buttering up for once. it may do no harm the butter-er or the butter-ed, but the bread (us) is the one who ends up having high cholesterol. bad joke and pun, but the intentions are good, anyway.


4. co-ordination blues - didn't really come out as much, but there was a visible co-ordination issue among the dancers. or maybe it was just the indian-ness coming out.


5. 'mile sur mera tumhara...' - the whole ceremony did list towards the 'unity in diversity' pitch, and we seriously need to move away from stereotyping all mega-events as such.


but, the show was god damn awesome -


1. i cant stop praising indian railways - amazing theme, excellent orchestration. the only part of the show that actually captured indian life, as it is.


2. the indian railways advert needs a special mention. what started as what i thought was a vodafone commercial ended with nice little surprise. and the calcutta setting... :)


3. the lightworks - the tensile looked great, both on the field and out of it, thanks to the great lighting system in place


4. the fireworks - which continued their reign as the best part of opening ceremonies the world over.


5. the aerostat - the blimp rocked. hands down.


and thankfully international reception has been good, for the most part.


1. bbc called the show 'borderline magical' in its opening ceremony.


2. the australians are an impressed lot as well. the herald sun calls the show 'brilliant' under a special section labelled 'delhi dazzles' and in a poll, 92% respondents are glad they stayed up past the witching the hour to catch the live telecast. the australian reports 'india sweeps aside game shame'.


3. for a nation that does not participate in the cwg, usa's cnn carried the delhi games report at the very top and calls the ceremony 'lavish' but is yet to update the whole section.


4. uk's the daily mail has no mention of the event on its front page... or the site listings for that matter. for them, the rain halted ryder cup (golf) holds precedence, as they ponder on the state of the waterlogged (read puddles) course. apart from a small rider saying 'fear of attack looms over commonwealth games opening'. xenophobes. X(


5.  canada's the star says 'cwg opening ceremony goes off without a hitch'. not very flattering as a title. 'You could almost hear the estimated 64,000 in attendance at New Delhi’s renovated Jawaharlal Nehru Stadium breath a collective sigh of relief.' yeah. up his ass, probably. X(


6. the globe and mail, another canadian, has been less xenophobic, but relatively mum on the whole extravaganza. and all this from a country which apart from hosting an equally, if not more, chaotic set of cwgs, also took 30 years to clear the debts of what is called the biggest debacle in olympic history - montreal 76.


7. the kiwis were closer to aussies - the nz herald calls the opening ceremony 'spectacular' and gives a nice review with odd sprinklings of 'exotic', 'colourful', 'exciting' and 'breathtaking'.


8. back to the uk. the website of the daily mirror hit me as a porn classified at first, and digging deep into the sport section, one finds an impressed reviewer, though his report lies buried between the sexiest men of the week and a discussion on posh beckham's bust.


and now, for some tongue in cheek. awards for the night's performances -


1. the redemption award - suresh kalmadi and company, for narrowly escaping the death penalty by delivering a satisfying show.


2. the worst dressed award - shared by pratibha patil and mamta bannerjee. while patil continued to wipe off sweat and sport a full sleeve blouse (in the heat) in the same breath, mamta managed to succesfully look like mother teresa as a tihar inmate. ar rahman would be the runner up for wearing his shoe-choice.


3. the historian award - to suresh kalmadi again, for reliving half of india's modern political history in his dedication speech and forcing all others to do the same.


4. the moneymaker award - to doordarshan, for making more money on adverts than it has ever done in its existence.


5. the lightweight award - to the helium blimp, or as every official will tell you, the aerostat. as spectacular as they claimed.


6. the politically incorrect award - to doordarshan commentators, for forgetting camilla parker bowles' surname, then changing it to camilla parking balls, before establishing bonhomie by simply calling her camilia. no long legs, k3g style, to talk off though.


7. the invisible award - the flame of the queens baton. did anyone see a fire in the stick?


8. the fancy dress award - to the women carrying the nations signposts in the march of the nations segment. 71 different dresses, and the commentator rightly said 'designers ko isse bahut saare ideas mil rahe hoge'.


9. the snubbed award - poor old shera. he was the mascot, but did anyone see him in the ceremony?


10. the late latif awards - shared by all dads who maintained that dd's hour late telecast was 'live', and our globe hopping compatriots who missed an entertaining evening. the loss is theirs.